Self-Love & Crystals

Anyone else tired of "should-ing" all over themselves? We grow up with so many messages around us about who and what we "should" be. There's cultural norms, societal norms, our family values, religious expectations, social pressure, the media...We even get messages from our closest loved ones about what we "should" do. Many times it can come from a place of love; however, it can certainly impact our self-esteem when we feel we aren't living up to expectations. It's hard to feel worthy when we are too busy thinking "I should lose weight," "I should be a better friend," "I should have more money," … should should should.

Whenever we're seeking growth or healing, I find that it usually all connects in one way or another to self-love. When I say self-love, I am referring to unconditional acceptance of ourselves- finding ourselves lovable regardless of our appearance, accomplishments, or choices we make on our journey. The "shoulds" put conditional hurdles all over our path of self-acceptance, and they can leave us feeling inadequate, less-than, and unworthy.

So what do we do with this feeling? That icky, sinking, pit of our gut feeling. The feeling that prevents us from taking risks, reaching out, making good choices for ourselves. Change can only come from creating our own messages to replace the external ones. Let's talk about how crystals can help us hijack our inner monologue.

First, let's introduce the crystals that are associated with self-love. Arguably, the most well known is rose quartz. Amazonite is also a great fit for powerful love and healing energy. Selenite is also a fantastic stone for clearing negative energy. Smoky quartz helps clear negative vibes while increasing our confidence. There are many more crystals that might better fit your specific blockages; I recommend checking out the Crystal Council's pages on the solar plexus chakra and the heart chakra for more ideas. Or, consider filling out the survey for a monthly box and the Crystal Council will find you the right fit!

Once you've picked your crystals, there are several options for how to use them:

  • Meditate with the crystal! I actually recommend this one first before trying the rest of the list. This way your crystal energy is activated for however you choose to use it. Hold the crystal in your hand or place it on the appropriate chakra while meditating. I love to pair a heart chakra crystal with a loving-kindness meditation when my inner critic is acting up.

  • Wear your crystal! It sends a strong energy of self-love to adorn your body with a crystal that radiates that message. Whenever you catch a glimpse of your crystal jewelry or touch it, I encourage pairing it with an affirmation such as "I love myself" or "I am enough."

  • Carry it with you! Feeling the weight of the crystal in your pocket will help remind you to be kind to yourself, even in your tougher moments. During a time when my self-esteem was low, I carried Rose Quartz in my pocket and wrapped my fingers around it whenever I caught myself saying mean things to myself. It was an anchor that helped me reign in those negative thoughts before they spiraled out of control.

  • Make a crystal elixir! PLEASE be cautious when trying this and do your research first! A crystal elixir involves placing a crystal in water in order to take in the crystal's energy- just be sure that the crystal you choose is safe for this purpose! Some crystals corrode or rust in water, so read up before making your elixir. I love the idea of this because you're feeding the body and soul by fulfilling a basic need, hydration. A visualizing trick: whenever you take a drink of your crystal elixir, imagine the water washing away the negative thoughts or feelings and filling up your self-esteem. The Crystal Council has a gorgeous Rose Quartz Charging Waterbottle!

  • Decorate a space with them! Are there certain places you find yourself having the most self-deprecating thoughts? Maybe in front of the bathroom mirror or at your work desk, for example? Place your crystal in this area to help change that energy. I recommend first cleansing the negativity from the space with either some sage, palo santo, or an energy-clearing spray to maximize the high vibrations.

With that, let me take one last opportunity to remind you that you are beautiful, worthy, and lovable. We all need reminders sometimes- the only "should" to listen to is that you should be kind to yourself. You deserve it!

Diana Fuller is the host of Watered Grass, a podcast that introduces different self-care services and strategies. She is also a children's yoga instructor and co-founder of Self & Sisters, a self-care platform for women. You can find out more at and

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